Like Lorber stated in her essay, I have always known that sex and gender were not the same thing. Our whole life we are put into one category in whether we are a "man" or a "woman." What exactly does it mean to be a man anyways? Besides genitalia, men are perceived to be strong and hard working. Yet when a woman decides to convert to a man, and displays the same characteristics of a strong, hard working man...she is looked down upon by society. Lorber was on the subway and she saw a man with a baby that "looked" like a boy, and then realized that it was a girl when she saw the earrings and the flower sneakers. How is it that she knew it was a girl when she saw the earrings, are boys not allowed to wear earrings? Or is that too feminine for them.
She also spoke on how people “applaud men silently” when they see them taking care of their child. Like we should be so proud of the man for doing something he’s supposed to be doing. Why is the hard work and care all in a woman’s hands? When we see women walking down the street with a baby stroller, it’s just like another person walking down the street. Oh but when a man walks down the street with his child, we should all applaud him silently. It’s hard to believe we’re in 2010 and it’s still a shock to people that men are actually taking care of THEIR child. In a perfect world all parents would raise their kids androgynous, yet judging by our society and the media; it wouldn't take too long for that kid to convert right into their category of being feminine or masculine. Lorber was talking about her son attending a nonsexist school where they had unisex bathrooms. Yet when she went to her sons play, the boys were not wearing make-up while the girls were. Little did she know that it was her son who influenced the other boys not to wear make-up.
I loved the part about the berdaches, hijras, and xaniths. The “manly-hearted woman” and “male woman.” We are known to be the most desirable country in the world yet we can’t even accept a man wanting to be a woman or vice versa. We have progressed so much throughout the years from women’s rights to equality and unity. Yet we would rather have people be something they are not just because it’s “normal” than to accept them for who they truly are and who they want to be. In Chinese societies, they used to bound their daughters feet so their feet would stop growing. It “attracted males” or the women in Africa did female circumcision so they would be more desirable to men and ensure their marriageability. It’s funny how the man is the ultimate prize and women have to go through pain and alter the way we look just to be desirable to men. Although in our society we may not go to that extent, some are still victims of it (i.e. plastic surgery). I do agree with what Lorber said and I do expect that coming out of this class to be more knowledgeable about gender and identity and I would hope that it would alter and change a lot of the oblivion to our society and gender that we are so unaware of everyday.
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ReplyDeleteI appreciated the comment "It’s funny how the man is the ultimate prize and women have to go through pain and alter the way we look just to be desirable to men. Although in our society we may not go to that extent, some are still victims of it (i.e. plastic surgery)."
ReplyDeleteWhy do you think that is ? That women are seen as commodities or just as valuable as their bodies are as assessed by the normative aesthetic?
I applaud you for already knowing that sex and gender were not the same thing; I really had no idea and for that reason have never even given it any thought until I took our class. When you asked, “what exactly does it mean to be a man…?” I know for a fact that—their genitals do not make them a man. I feel that the word man is just a label that is given to someone that behaves the way a man is suppose to behave or at least come close; you know: mucho, independent, in control, a leader, provider, with backbone, common sense, loves one women at a time (yah right), dependable, and as you mentioned strong and hard working. I am not clear on what you mean when you said, “when a woman decides to convert to a man, and displays the same characteristics of a strong, hard working man… she is looked down upon by society.” If you are talking about a woman performing jobs like a brick layer, truck driver, or construction worker, I will agree just a little, because in this day and time there are a lot of women performing duties that use to be given to—only men; therefore, more woman are doing it than before, and I applaud any women who can hold her own in a man’s world.
ReplyDeleteI use to be one of those who would “applaud men silently” for being in public taking care of their children; I am guilty as sin. I guess deep down I did that because I was afraid to applaud them openly for fear of making a spectacle or it could have been that I was jealous, for the reason that I wished my man did that. Now I go out of my way and talk to a man who does not mind taking on what use to be a woman’s role and telling him, “I wish my man did what you are doing.”